i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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