If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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