I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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