Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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