Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
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I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
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I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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