For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
