The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
