Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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