I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He shit in the fireplace
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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