is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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