it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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