Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
is wine microwaveable?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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