you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize