I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I yelled at your uterus for you.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
