Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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