I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
