i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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