A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
