All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
