And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
