So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
