Dual....:-)
youre lurking in front of me
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
