uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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