I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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