i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
