whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
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I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
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How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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