I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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