I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
