apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
