I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you would pick up someone in the library
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
