i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Randomize