You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
