ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
