In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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