I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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