Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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