his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
3pm strippers are depressing
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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