we have pet lesbian snakes
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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