I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
