Already got asked if we're dating
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
