eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
