I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
It's Friday. Sex?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
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