But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
