Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
