i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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