One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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