yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
