so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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