i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
