I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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