HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
