a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize