I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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