u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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