Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize