I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
