She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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