If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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