woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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