i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
