They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize