I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
