New low: just hacked my moms facebook
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
