So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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