sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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