David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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