I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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