Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
