ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
