I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You need Xanax blowdarts
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
