I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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