He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
i've created a new STD.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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