Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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