I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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