I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
