he thought i was a dude.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
